disconnection letter

Dr. Wilson,

I came to talk to you today about my problem. I am hoping you can help me figure out what to do.

I am scheduled for a weekend retreat course that I am required to take. This couldn't have come at a worse time. That weekend is the weekend that I go out and bless the sacred ground with the fertile juices of my body and the all the screaming orgasms I can muster. I have danced and drummed the fires of Beltane for 6 years. I do that for my community, and they do it for me. This is sacred work. I take it very seriously and joyously and it puts my in a grounded state of bliss that I draw insipration and strength from for months to come.

Is this stupid retreat going to do any of that for me? No.

There is a larger issue here; one big result of my school experience is that I don't find time for hardly anything else. I was satisfied with my life for the most part before I started school, except for the professional bit. And that is why I came, but now I feel like the sacrifice is too much. I was willing to deal, but this is too much. I mean, if you had to go to a school retreat over christmas or easter weekend would you just deal with it the way I am expected to?

But this is my double bind. I am not really embracing the school community, because I run out of there as soon as I can to live the other part of my life, and that other part feels abandoned most of the time anyway. I am commited to more things than I can give my best energy to.

and I am more lonely than I have been in a very very long time.

Thanks for listening,

student